7 mistakes every child makes while dealing with parents.

Before starting this blog I would like to suggest you read my previous blog that is “ https://pant0math.blogspot.com/2020/12/indian-parents-are-disastrous-at.html ”.If you don't read that you won't understand what I'm talking about right now and you must understand before what I am saying in this blog.

In this blog we are going to cover what mistakes a child makes when he interacts with their parents or when he knows that what their parents are doing wrong with him over the years and when he is aware of that thought I am assuming something's over here .

Assumptions:

1. you are reading this blog because you want to understand your parents.

2. you want to understand what mistake you are making.

3. you also want to understand how you can improve the relationship between you and your parents.


the point I would like to add over here is that you are totally aware that something needs to change between you and your parents and that's a kind of child I am talking to right now and if you did not fall in these categories then don't be shy just read the whole blog and I hope it will improve your relationship with your parents.





Being aware and do nothing!


Not listening to them.


Blaming everything on them.


Being narcissist.


Not showing love.


Trying to teach them.


Gratitude is definitely not your attitude.






Being aware and do nothing!






Before straightly jumping into the topic. I would like to ask you few questions , you must answer it honestly.


DID YOUR PARENTS EVER HIT YOU IN YOUR LAST 5 TO 10 HEATED ARGUEMENTS?


DID THEY TRY TO AVOID YOU AFTER THAT ARGUEMENT FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME LIKE FOR 2 TO 3 MONTHS?


DID THEY TRY TO LOCK YOU IN A ROOM ,TILL YOU DONT AGREE WITH THEM ?


DOES A SIMPLE TALK ASLO TURNS INTO A ARGUMENT WITH THEM?


DOES THEY ALWAYS TRY TO GET ON YOUR NERVE?


DOES THEY SEE YOU STILL AS A CHILD?


DOES THEY THINK YOU ARE A KID ,WHO CANNOT HANDLE BIG RESPONSIBILITY OR EVEN HIMSELF?


DOES THEY ALWAYS QUESTIONS LIKE:- i. Where are you going? With whom are going ? What is his/her number? Or why are you smiling by looking at your phone?etc etc……...




If you answered any of the above questions as “yes” EXPECT THE QUESTION NO.1 .

I have a solution for you.




i. Don't try to act smart in front of them or don't raise your voice,while being in an argument. Because it makes them feel inferior to you and insecure about you, they think that you are hanging out with bad people , you are not the child anymore they loved so much. you are manipulated by someone. So don't do that . raising your voice or trying to make them feel inferior will not benefit anyone .




ii. Try to look decent while arguing with them or try to look like a person who needs help and keep your voice low but audible ,this will make them calm down and make them feel superior.




iii. Superiority :- when they will feel the superiority they will try to help you and may try to listen to you.




iv. If they have locked you in a room that means you have not followed the above rules and if you seriously did follow it . continue them until they don't break , because believe me guys they love you more than you know . they are only doing these things because they think “it's good for you” sometimes they are right but not always.




v. Try to tell your part more calmly now and please pay attention to what they are saying to you and carefully evaluate it ,whether it's good for you or not.




vi. Remember one thing while talking with them don't try to rush , try to make jokes in between to make them smile or try to understand them. And if they are not making any sense try harder to make them understand . Remember one thing if the argument is going totally in the wrong direction, bring it back on point . If it still goes in a wrong direction, shut your mouth and listen to them , let them say whatever they want to say .( imagine them as a cup full of tea , if you want something to put in that cup ,you must empty it first.)




vii. You can try many things to make them your best friend , like you can write them love letters, an appreciation note, you can gift them for no reason at all, you can cook them food occasionally, you can play games which they love etc…..

After all it's not just about you. And believe they will appreciate it all more than anyone …




viii. Parents who hit their children must not do this . but if they do it on a simple matter also you must report it to police . because its a child abuse , its not right to hit a child or anyone while being in an argument . If your parents do that and say it is their love believe me guys you are just a dog for them . To whom they are training to be “civilised” . In fact you are worse than a dog cause they don't have many expectations with a dog .




And I know many of you are aware of the above things ,that's the reason I said “ being aware and do nothing!”




2. Not listening to them.



Many times you are told to do a few things which you don't like or just don't want to do because you don't like to take orders from anyone .

Many times you don't even sit and talk to your parents casually. {I know some people do this because they don't enjoy their talks , their company , they sound boring , orthodox or talk about sanskar or family , how you should behave or to whom you should not talk or meet ,and i know it can be irritating to hear all this.)

But all I am asking is to listen to them and try to understand them because ignoring them or talking them with rudeness is only going to get worse.

You must understand that they also had a life before they met you , they think and act according to their experiences, friends , society , sanskaar & thoughts which they think is right.{ which in some cases they are right } , it has taken years to build this kind of character. they are just telling you “the right thing” according to them. So it's pretty clear you can't change them in a day , a month or a year . you must be patient with them. They are not going to hurt you , they will be the last person to do so . so give them time and love. They always go miles extra for you. No matter how narrow minded you think they are but one day they will definitely listen to you , but you have to start it first.




3. Blaming everything on them.



“There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction. The moment you are old enough to take the wheel, the responsibility lies with you.” J.K.ROWLING




You must never blame anyone {including your parents also} for the life you have. I can understand , many decisions of your life are taken by your parents , which does not turn out well for you . but don't blame them because you also did not fight for the thing you wanted to do , if you did fight hard for it and still your parents did not let you do what you want then you can blame them .

But don't blame them for those things in which you agreed consensually & logically. you can blame them for things in which they emotionally persuaded you, tried to blackmail you by saying “ something bad will happen to them if you did not do this or do that “ , forced you physically etc.




Take responsibility for your life in your . no matter what, try to do whatever you want to do in your life . if you cannot fight for what you want in your life then you cannot blame others.




4. Being narcissist.


Narcissism is not good for any relationship . Like i mentioned this same topic in my earlier blog.( https://pant0math.blogspot.com/2020/12/indian-parents-are-disastrous-at.html )

Many times as children we think that what we are saying or doing with our parents is right but sometimes we are wrong and to realise this you must listen ,evaluate and understand things.



5. Not showing love.


As children we definitely failed to show our love to parents . I'm not saying that you don't love your parents . All I'm saying is that you don't show your affection to them . which they need the most . as children it's our daily responsibility to take care of them ,no matter what.

You can gift them , write them letters, spend time with them {no need to have a reason for it}

Try to make them happy.


6. Trying to teach them.


Many times we try to teach them what's right and what's wrong which ultimately leads to a wrong conclusion or to a heated argument . as i mentioned earlier don't try to make them feel inferior. Because now they wont focus on the problem ,they will try to prove themselves superior and knowledgeable .


7. Gratitude is definitely not your attitude.


Our parents hope that we are happy with them , they try to make us happy , they try to be there for us. But when it's our time to show our gratitude towards them we fail to do so.

We don't respect their opinion many times. We make them less important , we ignore them , or avoid them. We only remember them when we need something from them. And that shows we don't have gratitude towards our parents or towards the things they provided us.





So guys, I hope you realise your mistakes, where you were lacking . Now you can try those methods which I have suggested . I may have missed some points. You can suggest to me those points in the comment section.




I will be back with more blogs.